Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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