he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
