That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
