I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
