You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
