Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
