didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
