Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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