So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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