You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
