Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
