Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
