you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
