We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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