Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
