I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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