I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
