Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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