at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
