apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
