Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
