Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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