highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
