ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
