Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize