please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
