Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
