i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
