JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I understand Curling. That high.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
