i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
