laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Ladies don't puke and tell
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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