Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
