The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
