yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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