the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
