My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
