i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
