My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
