Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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