Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
