My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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