fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize