That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
