I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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