On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
