we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
