My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
