Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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