We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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