bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
