K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
