I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize