that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
