i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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