Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
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