Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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