Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
