I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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