Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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