I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
