I want to walk on stilts...naked
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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