Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
