I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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