She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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